• xmunk
    arrow-up
    49
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    I’m Dr. Sharkzo and I like cocaaaaine.

    (I understand this reference might be a bit old for most of the platform but if you’re unfamiliar with it just browse some clips of Dr. Rockso)

    • fistac0rpse
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      3 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Metalocalypse isn’t old, it only came out 18 years ago damnit

      • xmunk
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        3 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        There is a person somewhere who just finished their SATs and was conceived to DUNCAN HILLS COFFEE

    • KowowowEnglish
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      3 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      “jar jar binks has a caribbean black accent”

  • Phenomephrene
    arrow-up
    21
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    I assume Cocaine Shark is already a movie on Tubi, but if it isn’t give it a couple weeks.

      • charade_you_areEnglish
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        3 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        I’m kind of impressed. I’ve never seen a 1.8 imdb rating before

      • Phenomephrene
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        3 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        Nice. And yeah, it’s on Tubi. I think it can be properly reclassified as a documentary given this article here.

      • Flying Squid
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        3 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        And if you think that one’s scary, wait until you see Cocaine Pangolin.

    • FuglyDuckEnglish
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      3 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Is that the sequel to Cocaine Bear? Where the sharks start swimming up rivers and they release the bear to fight the shark.

      Like a Godzilla movie?

      • Phenomephrene
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago
        edit-2
        3 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        First off, I get pretty serious about Godzilla movies, so we’ll leave that alone out of common decency.

        Second, the movie you’re describing is a franchise crossover between Cocaine Bear and Cocaine Shark. I heard they’re bringing Meth Moose in for the follow up.

        • FuglyDuckEnglish
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          0
          ·
          3 months ago
          link
          fedilink

          Only in the genre, not in the same league.

          Also. Meth Moose?? That’s actually a movie I’d watch.

          • Phenomephrene
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            0
            ·
            3 months ago
            link
            fedilink

            It looks like there are a few meth gator movies out there, but nobody’s done a moose yet. If I were any kind of ambitious I might get that copyrighted. Fair game if anyone wants to use it though; I’d watch it too.

            • FuglyDuckEnglish
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              0
              ·
              3 months ago
              link
              fedilink

              There’s probably some Hollywood script writer taking notes about to run off to the nearest LLM to slap prompts into.

        • cm0002
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          0
          ·
          3 months ago
          link
          fedilink

          Then they’re gonna do a cross over event where they introduce Ganja Goose

  • enkilleEnglish
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    How can a shark even do cocaine without a blowhole?

  • SPRUNT
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Does that mean they’re banned from the Olympics?

    • jeffwOPM
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      3 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      No, they just can’t compete under the shark flag

  • JPSound
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    And my guy can’t find shit.

  • TransplantedSconie
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Jaws 8 won’t be so bad because his crippling coke addiction has ground all his teeth to nubs.

  • CaptKoalaEnglish
    arrow-up
    1
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    3 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Brazilian snowpowder, works on people, works on sharks. Wonder what else it’ll work on.