• Lost_My_Mind
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    10 days ago
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    My mom would put on some thick clothes, and then put on a set of overalls, and flannel shirt that were 10 sizes too big OVER her clothes. And in between the two she’d stuff the overalls and flannel shirt with hay. Then she’d wear this burlap facemask over her head to look even more like a scarecrow.

    Then she’d sit on the porch, with the bowl of candy on table next to her. They would have to walk past my mom to get to the bowl. She would sit perfectly still.

    My sisters would tell trick or treaters to just take 1 candy from the bowl, or bad things would happen.

    If a kid took just 1 candy? Nothing happened. If a kid got greedy? She’d jump out of her chair, grab the kid, and lift him up by the wrists while going BLLLAAAHHHRRGGHGHGHGH!!! WHY’D YOU TAKE MORE CANDY???

    SOOOOOOOOOOO many kids would cry. A few peed themselves. Lots of parents even screamed, which I’m sure added to the horror to the kids that even THEIR mom was screaming afraid.

    But I bet they never took more than 1 candy.

    • cfi
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      10 days ago
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      This is awesome, your mom sounds cool as hell. I also expect that sadly, today she’d get the cops called on her

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCAEnglish
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        10 days ago
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        I mean it was the cop on my street who did it so I’m pretty sure they’d find it funny

    • MasterEnglish
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      10 days ago
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      I thought this story was going towards her standing in a field and scaring birds brave enough to land near a scarecrow.

      • tetris11
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        9 days ago
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        That’s still far more innocent than where my mind was heading

    • MasterEnglish
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      10 days ago
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      That was pretty good!

  • Isa
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    11 days ago
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    Thanks for the laugh!

    I really needed that right now.

  • Flying Squid
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    10 days ago
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    Just because I feel the need to unload this- I was in Menard’s today (I did, in fact, save big money) and they were selling a THIRTY-FOOT inflatable Frankenstein’s monster. Not even a scary-looking one, a cartoonish one.

    I question anyone who would buy such a thing.

      • Flying Squid
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        9 days ago
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        A scary one would be cool. This was a goofy cartoon one like you’d see on a kid’s show.

          • Flying Squid
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            9 days ago
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            If you can’t terrify small children, what even is the point of Halloween? I can give people candy whenever I feel like it.

  • half_built_pyramids
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    10 days ago
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    This triggered Anonymoose Santa car taco review Taco Bell commercial playing in my head