• tacosanonymous
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    Yes, we all know you will plunge us into darkness, you orange fucking turd.

  • FuglyDuckEnglish
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    wasn’t there some sort of weird Q-Anon conspiracies surrounding the eclipse?

    • Admiral PatrickEnglish
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      wasn’t there some sort of weird Q-Anon conspiracies surrounding {Insert literally anything here}

      Yes.

      • someguy3English
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        What were they? (About the eclipse.)

          • someguy3English
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            a real opportunity for smugglers and cartels and migrants to come right in.

            Sigh

              • ours
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                Wide open for a handful of minutes.

                • norbert
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                  “While everyone is watching the sun, we’ll crouch down and sneak right past them.

            • Gloomy
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              As a GM I would give my players a bonus to stealth during a total eclipse if they wanted to sneak past some guards, so I think this is a very valid take. ;-)

              • otp
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                I mean, the guards would probably want to get a look at the eclipse! Haha

            • nrezcmEnglish
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              Yeah I know right? Joe Biden should have done more to stop the eclipse!

            • frezik
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              When else could the cartels cross the region under cover of darkness? It’s not something that happens every night.

          • Flying Squid
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            Oh I so fucking called that when I found out that the path of totality went straight through Eagle Pass.

          • mihnt
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            deleted by creator

        • Admiral PatrickEnglish
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          I’m just assuming, probably correctly. I don’t bother with that nonsense. But yes is a safe answer since everything’s a freaking conspiracy with that bunch of nutjobs.

          • FuglyDuckEnglish
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            Neither do I, I just saw a headline the other day.

          • Bad_Company_Daps
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            So in other words just lying? You really answered a question you had no idea the answer to with “yes.

            • skillissuer
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              it’s an advanced technique called “guessing”

            • norbert
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              It’s called surmising, and they surmised correctly.

            • Shalakushka
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              I love how you have no response as soon as it’s illustrated that in fact these jack offs did have a dumb conspiracy theory about this shit. Nice one!

    • Nomecks
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      It was rapture when the path of this eclipse crossed the path of the eclipse two years ago. I think it was somewhere in Missouri/Iliinois. If you ascended, congrats. I get to go to work tomorrow.

      • FuglyDuckEnglish
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        nope. still here.

        So. Did we finally get rid of the jackasses?

        • GTKashi
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          Safe to assume that if the rapture was real, most people thinking they were righteous enough to get raptured are most certainly missing their religion’s arbitrary mark, so us decent, upstanding heathens would end up stuck with most of them here anyway.

          • FuglyDuckEnglish
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            Oh well. It was a nice thought anyway.

        • MelodiousFunk
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          I’m also still here, so

          Oh, you meant the other kind of jackass.

          • FuglyDuckEnglish
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            well I meant the religious fruitcake variety.

            I assume if a rapture did happen it’d be all over the news. and uh, celebrations.

    • Flying Squid
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      wasn’t there some sort of weird Q-Anon conspiracies surrounding the eclipse everything that ever happens?

      The answer is yes.

  • OsrsNeedsF2P
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    I love how the media amplifies Trump’s advertising reach by 2x. If I were a Trump supporter, I’d be making alts to upvote stuff like this

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    That’s Peter Griffin

  • juneEnglish
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    My mother posted this unironically to her Facebook feed. Said ‘we need to eclipse the bad guys’.

    Times like this I wish I was still talking to her and she knew I was queer.

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      Times like this I wish I was still talking to her and she knew I was queer.

      Ugh, same. I broke all contact with mine a little before the pandemic and now a tiny part of me will always be dying to know how deep into the cult she sank.

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        part of me will always be dying to know how deep into the cult she sank.

        It’s the reason I still stalk her Facebook lol

        I broke contact with my mom 2 years ago on my birthday when she (middle school dropout) decided to tell me I (a college grad who learned how to research validity and reliability of various claims and sources) am a gullible fool for taking the Covid vaccine and that I needed to get on YouTube to do my research. It was the final straw of disrespect piled on a thousand other small things.

        I don’t miss her.

        • jdf038
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          I’m glad you’ve got peace with that but I don’t envy you for having to go through it ❤️

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            I never would have chosen it, that’s for sure. I may not miss her but I do experience grief over the situation often.

        • Flying Squid
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          Sounds like your childhood must have been a ball. I’m sorry.

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            She was a lot better before. She ended up with a ruptured disc in her lumbar in like 91 or something and the only treatment back then was a discoctomy, which is a brutal surgery that usually leads to a cascade of disc herniation and rupturing. She ended up having 11 surgery’s over the next 25 years and during that time became very addicted to her pain killers. Then, in 09 she got breast cancer which has been pretty hard on her body, and has left her with literal brain damage today. She always had toxic traits, but her sickness has made it so much worse over the last 15 years in particular.

            To boot, we were fundie Christians and I had no idea I was queer, I only knew I never fit in and couldn’t figure out why. I was so isolated i never had anyone that could model what it might be like to be queer or to understand myself. Add in some mild bipolar, ADHD, and a touch of autism and it’s a recipe for failure to self identify. It wasn’t until my 30’s that I started putting the pieces together that maybe I’m not a boy and oh I actually like boys too.

            Most of my misery and trauma growing up was more religious than anything.

            • Flying Squid
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              Religious trauma is a big problem and haunts a lot of people. I’m sorry.

    • NegativeInf
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      Lol. Send her a letter saying you are queer AF and listen for the blastwave in the distance.

      • juneEnglish
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        I used to be queer. I still am but I used to be too.

        Mitchhedberg.gif

        • Llewellyn
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          I’m sorry, English isn’t my first language. Is that a typical way to say about a state (e.g. being queer) which has begun in the past and still present?

          • juneEnglish
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            No worries!

            Contextually, saying ‘was’ is inclusive of the past and present. But to your credit, saying ‘I am’ would have been more precise.

            My quote is a line from a famous comedian, Mitch Hedberg, who was doing a bit about drugs when he said ‘he used to do drugs’, paused, and then said ‘I still do but I used to too’. It’s a play to subvert expectations because when someone says they ‘used to do something’ they usually mean that they don’t anymore.

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              Thank you!

              btw, my first conscious effort to learn English properly was fueled by another comedian: Eddie Izzard.

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    We do seem to be heading into a new dark age brought on by Trump, so I guess it fits.

    • lostlittletimeonthis
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      Well let’s check our notes, while president withheld weapons from Ukraine that they were asking for as defense, made a deal with Taliban releasing all the fighters the US had captured, ordered the total and complete withdrawal from Syria to Russian troops, stacked the courts with dubious judges, gave tax cuts to rich people and impacted the middle class the worst, went into an insane trade war with china and Europe causing impacts in several transforming industriesand that’s just from the top of my head

  • EdibleFriend
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    Not as good as the time he posted an ad making himself Thanos just about to destroy the universe.

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      I was going to say maybe don’t associate Hitchcock with Trump, but I think they’re just about equal in terms of misogyny and they both raped at least one woman.

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        Hitchcock was at least able to create worthwhile things while being a shitty human being.

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          True, people have something of his to tangibly enjoy, even decades later.

          There will be nothing left of Trump when he’s gone. Maybe nothing left of America either.

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    “I propose that we, and this is a very smart idea, privatise the sunlight. I know some very good people, some very smart investors, who can make the sun become profitable. We’ve got the best engineers, and these engineers - who are very smart, not a single one of them is a democrat, they are building this huge dish that we will put in orbit over the USA. It’s going to block out most of the sun - you’ll get a little bit, a little bit of sun, because we’re that generous - but that big stupid ball in the sky needs to turn a profit. You know, I really think that nuclear mogul Mr Burns fixed this problem a long time ago, but democrats were too stupid to listen.

  • TheJimsOP
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    It’s clearly trump or is it the third guy from the left on the evolutionary chart?

  • CileTheSane
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    Well his followers sure seem to think he’s God