Or do you prefer other adjectives? Do you consider it to be insulting or do you take it for a compliment if it was meant as one? (Assume an amenable relationship between the two people, not a random stranger or creeper)

  • breadsmasherEnglish
    arrow-up
    68
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    I imagine this is a very specific to the individual , and the context in which it is used

  • Kattiydid
    arrow-up
    60
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Like a handful of other people in the comments I never dress up or wear makeup, it’s black pants and a t-shirt for me. It’s usually a graphic t-shirt that is silly so if someone’s like “oh cute t-shirt” sure, that’s fine. But if they’re talking to me specifically cute feels infantilizing. I’m a 33-Year-Old woman, I either look fine, nice, beautiful, or like a deranged raccoon holding a knife.

    • sunbrrnslapper
      arrow-up
      34
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      I often look like a deranged raccoon holding a knife - and am excited the look is catching on! 😉

      • BudgetBandit
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        2 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        I once was on some winter event with a lot of people and a deranged raccoon of the party tried on some hat with double Pom-poms, I told her it makes her look cute, but this is, as some people have already written, context-specific.

    • Carighan Maconar
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Are those in increasing compliment order? In that case, I can say with confidence that your post sounds like you’re a deranged raccoon holding a knife!

  • VanthEnglish
    arrow-up
    42
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Depends on context. “Cute” can be infantalizing and condescending, or not, or somewhere in between. In general, any blanket statements about relationships comes down to context.

  • MissJinx
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    2 months ago
    edit-2
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    I was going to say it really depends on who is saying it. A creepy old friend of your uncle’s? Please No. A cute guy you are also interested in? Yes please.

    If you are not sure just say nothing. Silence is always a great option

    • tourist
      arrow-up
      20
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      especially in a police interrogation room

      • xkbx
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        2 months ago
        edit-2
        2 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        “Alright, we have at least 6 witnesses willing to testify that they think I’m pretty. If you confess and say that at least I’m cute, we’ll let you get off easy.

        “I wanna talk to my lawyer.

        bad cop begins routine

        HOW DARE YOU, THEIR OUTFIT ALONE IS FIRE!

        ”good” cop pulls the bad cop off you

        “Sorry, my partner is a loose cannon. Look, we just want to make sure you’ve got good taste.

        • yngmnwntr
          arrow-up
          8
          arrow-down
          0
          ·
          2 months ago
          link
          fedilink

          I think I would watch a Fashion Police procedural.

    • makingStuffForFun
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      7
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Scientifically this has been proven again and again. Good looking saying something, getting something, doing something is acceptable. Unattractive has no access to the same things.

      I’ve pondered this a few times now I’m older. When younger the things I could say to women and get a positive response was amazing, compared to now I’m older. I was fit, good looking and cheeky.

      It’s just what it is. Attractive always wins. Be it income, access or acceptance (in your example).

      I’m OK with my age and not being as attractive as I was, but every now and then the cocky young man in me wants to complement a lady, but I move on. The moment passes. I’ve matured emotionally and happily carry on.

      • MissJinx
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        0
        ·
        2 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m the Ugly girl!! I also have no chance and ususally guys say “just die” on the internet. It’s not a man problem or a women biases, its a ugly ppl vs pretty people problem

  • Godthrilla
    arrow-up
    26
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    The most important thing I ever realized, if I want to compliment a woman, you never compliment her on her features, you compliment her on her choices. “Hey you look cute” is automatically going to put her hackles up. “Hey, I really like your dress” is a neutral statement you can make that doesn’t make you a danger. Which is what most women view men as after a lifetime of being treated as prey.

    Source: three daughters

    • Chaotic EntropyEnglish
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      “Never” seems a little excessive, it’s more contextually sensitive though obviously.

  • ShaunaTheDead
    arrow-up
    24
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    If my partner calls me cute, yes, I like that. Anyone else, it’s very context specific. Do I know you and like you and trust you and your opinions? Then probably yes, otherwise pretty much always no.

  • KestrelAlex
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    It really depends on what I’m doing to elicit the comment - I’m often doing silly things, getting enthusiastic about stuff, exploring my environment and other things vaguely “childish” and so would consider cute to be a compliment.

    Coming with no context it’s neutral, way better than being called sexy but generally my appearance doesnt need comment.

    If I’m upset, or being professional, or an authority than being called cute is 100% and insult.

          • Elise
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            0
            ·
            2 months ago
            link
            fedilink

            Getting banned from Lemmy.ml is an achievement in my book. You could start your own instance with poker and hookers 😎

  • NauticalNoodle
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    edit-2
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    As a male approaching middle-age this thread is confirming a lot of my suspicions that I never really had a firm understanding of. -Commenting on someone else’s aesthetic appeal in relation to oneself seems to be an often questionable practice, especially if it’s not someone one knows well.

  • sunbrrnslapper
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Well, I’m in my 40s, so to call me cute would be weird bordering on rude. But to say you like a piece of my clothing or some aspect of my personality is nice to hear.

    • HubertManne
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      ok cute is a not go but ok to say you have a nice piece of something.

      • sunbrrnslapper
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        Piece of clothing, like “I like that shirt” or “cool shoes”.

        And aspect of personality, like “I appreciate the perspective that you bring to our team” or “you are a strong writer”.

  • HEXN3T
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    My womanhood is complicated, but I love being called cute. Makes me beam a big smile.

  • Pandantic [they/them]English
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    edit-2
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Yes because I am cute. Actually. That’s my aesthetic.

    Edit: I see a lot of people calling it infantilizing, but it’s my personality. And I’m older than other people on here have said they are.

  • ramble81OP
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    So what I’m gleaming from this, all other things being equal:

    • objects (clothes, accessories): okay
    • the person themselve: not so much
    • JustinTheGMEnglish
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      The word you’re looking for is ‘gleaning’; ‘gleaming’ is more like ‘shiny’.

    • VanthEnglish
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      2 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Two of the comments so far mention “cute” as response to clothes/aesthetics. Just two.

      Don’t make blanket statements for interacting with women (or people in general) based on two internet comments. Please. Two comments.

  • OurToothbrush
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    If you want to say you like how I look compliment one of the grooming, fashion, or accessory choices, and I’ll get the hint.

    Hell, compliment my muscles. Literally just compliment anything I have agency over.

  • wrenEnglish
    arrow-up
    9
    arrow-down
    0
    ·
    2 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    It’s only really fine if someone calls me an appearance-based compliment if they’re my partner or a woman that I’m close to.