People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life
Doesn’t matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.
Don’t do anything you’re going to have to lie about. If you do, don’t lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.
This is something I learned from experience. I have plenty of problems in my life but a heavy conscience isn’t one of them.
No surprise parties for you then