A new Homeland Security report details orders to connect protesters arrested in Portland to one another in service of the Trump's imaginary antifa plot.
  • modifier
    00·
    28 days ago

    I’ve been waiting for the ideal time to unmask myself, and now seems as good a time as any.

    It is I. I am the president and CEO of Antifa, and I rule with an iron fist.

    I’ll take your questions now.

    • beliquititious
      00·
      27 days ago

      What’s your company culture like? What are the perks of working for antifa?

      • modifier
        00·
        27 days ago27 days ago

        Same answer to both questions: fash bashin’

        NEXT!

          • SturgiesYrFase
            00·
            27 days ago

            Not OP, but I’ll field this part. Where we’re going 401Ks and dental won’t be needed.

    • Avatar_of_SelfEnglish
      00·
      27 days ago

      I’ve heard rumors of unionizing at antifa. What is your strategy for dealing with that?

      • modifier
        00·
        27 days ago27 days ago

        Obvious conservative plant question. Collective action itself is the iron fist with which I rule, thus a Union would be redundant.

        NEXT!

    • Bibliotectress
      00·
      27 days ago

      Hi! Yes, I have a question.

      Grocery prices have been hitting hard lately, and I’m looking into alternative meat sources. I would like to know if I were to join your company, could we literally eat the rich? Or, second best, take all their stuff?

      • modifier
        00·
        27 days ago

        God knows what wierd chemicals they are marinating in, and most of them are busy amassing private armies and creating microstates while working to erode the checks that currently limit their ability to essentially act as actual sovereign citizen, so it wouldn’t exactly be very calorically rewarding compared to the effort, but…

        NEXT!

    • ThassodarEnglish
      00·
      28 days ago

      If you’re antipho, what’s your soup of choice?

      • designatedhacker
        00·
        28 days ago

        If they’re antipho we can safely assume their opinions on soup aren’t worth a damn.

        • sleet01
          00·
          26 days ago

          Gazpacho, like revenge, is best served cold.