• PhlubbaDubba
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    2 days ago
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    Legit considering getting my beard lasered off because I have such awful genes for beard hair.

    The moustache is fine though, I get to roleplay as flanders to make my GF laugh because she’s the more outgoing one :3

    • ✺roguetrick✺
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      My beard genes are primarily neck beard and pencil mustache. Hasn’t stopped me from growing out in the past.

    • d00ery
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      An’ live on the fatta the lan’

  • SotuandusoEnglish
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    I can grow a decent amount of facial hair. Unforturnately, it’s just curly enough to look scraggly, but not curly enough to pack in nicely on itself. But it’s red hair in contrast to my normal dark brown hair, and I don’t want to waste it.

    • And009
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      You might be running out of ink, drink more blood of the witch

    • FlaxEnglish
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      Hopefully it’s not Curly enough to have a tart for a wife and violent tendencies

  • gamermanhEnglish
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    My goatee might not be majestic or massive, but it compliments my face well, and all sideburns do is make me look like a teen trying too hard

    I’ll take what I’ve got, at least I’m not rocking just a soul patch, right?

  • Zink
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    I kept my face shaved until my 40s because my facial hair always seemed sparse and thin.

    But then a few years ago I just let it go for a while, and now I have this big thick beard that is never going anywhere. Wavy hair plus length suddenly looks full!

    • craftyindividual
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      Hmm. I’m 39 does something magical happen on your birthday. Patchy thin beard since forever, thinning top of head, but a thick chest, leg and bottom carpet :S

      • Zink
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        I’m not sure there’s a good way to know without trying. I never even tried a short beard because it never looked right until I got past the “long enough to look good” threshold.

        But that doesn’t mean never trimming a single hair, or anything extreme like that. I don’t like mine to grow out to the sides, so I’ve kept the sides trimmed.

        • craftyindividual
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          16 hours ago
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          Once mine gets to a 5mm it’s very thin and embarrassing. Believe I’d love to give up shaving, and save some money too ;)

  • Dasnap
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    If I let my beard get long enough, the neckbeard cowlicks collide and make random waves and spikes stick out.

    • pearsaltchocolatebar
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      Ugh, I have a spot on my chin that the hair grows in a spiral, so I always have a cowlick.

  • MehBlahEnglish
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    Don’t fret beardless man. Its evolution. Who needs a crumb catcher?

    • NoDignityEnglish
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      Wow look at this fat cat over here who can afford to lose crumbs

      • MehBlahEnglish
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        Oh it catches spit. It also catches feces when you flush the toilet as well.

        • ThatWeirdGuy1001
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          Honestly the toilet flushing thing is stupid. You’re catching the shit particles regardless just by shitting.

          If you can smell shit the particles are already in your lungs. Along with the myriad of other “gross” particles that just naturally exist in the air like pathogens, mold, skin cells, etc.

          If you’re that worried about it I expect to see you wearing a hazmat suit 24/7

          • ArcaneSlime
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            You jest, but I have whipped out the NBC gas mask because of a rank fart before.

  • umbrella
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    minoxidil fixes this for most people. just saying.

    • Shard
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      Minox allowed me to enter the awkward phase.

      One day I’ll grow through it.

  • BakerBagel
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    I can’t grow facial hair for shit. I grow out a moustache after Thanksgiving so i can have a Christmas moustache, but after a month of growth i only get a caterpillar moustache. I also grow a playoff beard whenever the Blues make playoffs, since shaving that nasty fucker is a perfect silver lining when they get bounced. Other than that, i am clean shaven every other day of the year. I already have a baby face, and. trying to grow facial hair makes me look10 years younger in a bad way

    • Holyginz
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      I have the opposite problem. I’ve had a beard the vast majority of my adult life (32M). Whenever I shave my wife will constantly pester me to grow it back since I look like 6 years younger. Add to that I start to actually notice how age has affected my face and end up growing it back very quickly lol.

      • pearsaltchocolatebar
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        I have to grow mine out because I have permanent 5 o’clock shadow and it hurts my wife’s face.

        • Holyginz
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          Oh yeah I get that as well. I’ve just been told the beard strengthens my jaw some which works very well. I have red/auburn hair and so is my beard which i think definitely helps it look better for me with the beard lol.

  • kurcatoviumEnglish
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    I see myself in this picture and I don’t like it :-(

  • FlaxEnglish
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    Tend the rabbits

  • 9point6
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    Also, not sure who needs to hear it, but beard oil significantly shortens the awkward phase (and you should be using it anyway if you’ve got anything more than light stubble)

    • Vincent
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      What does it do? i.e. what problem do you have if you have more than a light stubble and don’t use beard oil?

      • Baphomet_The_Blasphemer
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        I’m not sure what OP would say, but beard oils/balms keep the facial hair conditioned, which gently softens the hair, as well as it acts like a moisturizer for your facial skin which significantly reduces how dry and itchy it gets.

        In my experience, I don’t know if it helps it grow in fuller, but it certainly makes wearing a beard more comfortable and easier to manage.

        • johannesvanderwhales
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          So what’s the difference between beard oil and justconditioner? I’ve always been skeptical of specialty beard products, they seem very expensive for what they offer.

          • Baphomet_The_Blasphemer
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            Conditioner is formulated for head hair, which is often quite different from facial hair. I used to just use shampoo and conditioner in my beard, but over the years, I started buying a proper beard wash and using oils or balms as a leave-in conditioner.

            In my opinion, the main advantage to the oils is they stay on the hair, keeping it hydrated, keeping the facial skin hydrated (reduces or eliminats itch), and significantly reduces tangles, making it easier to maintain and style.

            • johannesvanderwhales
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              There are leave in conditioners out there too. I’m actually using a shampoo/conditioner that purports to be for beard hair, but I can’t say I’ve noticed a giant difference between this and any other shampoo/conditioner for my beard. I don’t know, it just seems like every product with “beard” in it just suddenly costs twice as much and none of them have exactly blown me away with the difference. It feels like the “pink tax” except instead of pink it’s sandalwood scent and some “manly” name.

            • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetEnglish
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              You shampoo your beard? I always just wash it with facial wash when I wash my face. Is there a problem with doing that?

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetEnglish
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          What if I just use regular facial moisturizer and rub it into my beard while moisturizing my face in the morning? That’s what I’ve always done, but now I’m wondering if I’m missing out on something.

          • Baphomet_The_Blasphemer
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            That’s probably going to do a similar moisturizing of the skin, keeping the itch away, though I’m not sure how that would affect the facial hair as far as conditioning goes. It just seems a lot more difficult than rubbing in an oil/balm that’s specifically designed for that purpose.

      • 9point6
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        Mostly Itch and lack of control.

        The longer your beard hair, the more it needs something to keep it from looking scruffy.

        Also the itch is just annoying and the oil basically stops it entirely

        • Vincent
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          Thanks. I’d categorise mine as a heavy stubble, but it doesn’t itch at all luckily. Possibly people would argue that it looks scruffy, I don’t know :P

          • doingthestuff
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            You don’t get the itch with heavy stubble, you get it when you try to grow it out to a full beard.

            • Vincent
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              Yeah I mostly meant that I’d categorise it as “more than a light stubble”, but it’s not that bad yet luckily. (I mean, it’s my own choice, but still :) )

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️English
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    I keep flipflopping between shaving and letting it grow. I think I look better with a goatee; but I was getting sick of having my face hair going into my mouth when eating.

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      I’ve kept a beard for years, but I’ve always trimmed and maintained it short enough that this isn’t a problem, with the bonus that it also doesn’t look scraggly. It’s a happy medium.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetEnglish
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      Just trim your mustache to match the top line of your upper lip. No more food concerns, and kissing is better too. I can’t stand having my mustache cover my lips, even though it looks pretty good.