If you throw cigarette butts on the ground you’re probably shittier than average person in many other ways too

I loathe tomatoes on burgers and will throw it in your face if you serve it to me.

Absolutely pointless taste wise and all that water is what makes the bread and patty move around with no respect for each other.

Microsoft Word is a bad piece of software that is poorly designed, laughably unoptimized, and mostly dysfunctional. It’s like a passenger car with seven wheels arranged in an irregular septagon, a 1 gallon gas tank, and a kitchen stool for a seat.

Also hype clothes are a tremendous waste and reveal the hollowness and meaninglessness that underlies most fashion

The Oxford comma is an absolute requirement unless you prefer to be intentionally vague.

A Chihuahua is not a legitimate dog, it’s a rat with delusions of grandeur.

There are three drinks you can call a martini:

• A martini is gin and vermouth, maybe with some bitters if you like
• A vodka martini is vodka and vermouth, bitters again optional
• A vesper martini is gin, vodka, and lillet blanc
• Any of the above can be made “dirty” with olive brine if you want

Anything else is a cocktail in a martini glass. No shade if you like apple schnapps, lemon juice, and vodka, drink what you like, but it’s not a martini.

Phones are for talking, navigating, and casual content consumption. Desktops (and laptops) are for actually getting things done. Both are useful, but the former is not a substitute for the latter.

Tablets are oversized phones that can’t even phone. I don’t see any use for them that isn’t better served by something else. They’d actually be useful if they ran a desktop operating system, and some early ones did, but modern ones don’t.

Eating fried chicken sandwich for breakfast is completely normal and an awesome way to start a day.

Subscription services are not worth it, period. Phone and internet bills are all you need to get everything you want at the best possible qualities in the best possible formats. Subscription services are only convenient for the lazy who don’t know how to use the internet.

Sarcasm and irony are not the same thing dammit! A limp, unfunny imitation is not a “parody”! I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS, INTERNET!!!

There is no space between the last letter of a sentence and punctuation.

Please , please , make it stop !

“times less” is not an intuitive, easy to understand way of referring to a decrease in some amount or percentage.

Those big SUV like Ford f150 should be illegal, for real. They are super long and tall, the driver can barely see what’s right in front, it’s dangerous for everyone not in the car. Cars should have stricter limits on size, if it’s bigger, you need a special license.

Pugs are not “so cute” because they’re ugly. They are deformed from countless generations of in-breeding and genetic manipulation by horrible horrible humans and are in constant pain, cannot breathe, and have countless other physical ailments. They should not exist in their current form and it makes me sad for the animal whenever I see one, and immediately lose all respect for the owner for furthering such a travesty.

Unless it’s boiled before they bake it, it’s not a fucking bagel, it’s doughnut-shaped bread. Bagels also do not contain blueberries, and any suggestion to the contrary should be met with a swift ass whooping.