• blue_berryOPEnglish
    arrow-up
    4
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago
    link
    fedilink

    Yeah ok, I need to improve my english skills

    • VictorEnglish
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      7 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Your English is fine. Sentences may be a tad long, and of course an article this size would need a proofread before posting. That’s normal.

      Very interesting article, at least in the beginning. I didn’t get very far but I was intrigued from the start. I like how you framed it all the way you did. Well done. 🙂👍

    • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      0
      ·
      7 months ago
      link
      fedilink

      Top tip my father gave me was to put command where you’d slightly pause, if reading it outloud.

      Your piece:

      He was, like many great thinkers, a child of his time: a few decades before, Copernicus came to the conclusion that the universe didn’t revolve around the earth, but that the earth actually circled around the sun and later, Newton came up with laws that explained the workings of the universe. Both of these developments marked a major shift of world view, and with this state of mind, Kant came to the conclusion that as autonomous, conscious beings, we can become moral beings through reason.

      Tweaked version:

      He was, like many great thinkers, a child of his time: A few decades before, Copernicus came to the conclusion that the universe didn’t revolve around the earth, but the earth actually circled around the sun and, later, Newton came up with laws that explained the workings of the universe. Both of these developments marked a major shift of world view and, with this state of mind, Kant came to the conclusion that as autonomous, conscious beings we can become moral beings through reason.

      Try reading those aloud - it’s a subtle, but important, difference that can really throw a reader off.

      Shortening the sentences would also help:

      He was, like many great thinkers, a child of his time. A few decades before, Copernicus came to the conclusion that the universe didn’t revolve around the earth, but the earth actually circled around the sun. Later, Newton came up with laws that explained the workings of the universe.

      That keeps each sentence more focused on the individual being discussed.

      • blue_berryOPEnglish
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 months ago
        edit-2
        7 months ago
        link
        fedilink

        Thanks! Yeah, I struggle to keep my sentences short. I will keep it in mind :)

        • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          0
          ·
          7 months ago
          link
          fedilink

          I’m the same. I have to keep that and the pause/comma thing (and not repeating words and phrases too close to each other) in mind constantly.