• Laticauda
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    Well the girlfriend still gets a wish.

  • thefloweracidic
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    True love is actually a great wish. Money runs out, the earth doesn’t have the resources to power an x-wing, super dude can’t do anything super or else society will now expect him to be Superman, which is a huge responsibility anyone reasonable would want. But TRUE LOVE, the fucking stuff from Disney movies? I’d take that in a heartbeat, then proceed to do a lewd photoshoot with my partner on the defunct x-wing.

    • Flying Squid
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      Super dude can use his super powers to steal the X-Wing and then fly off to another planet and find true love there. True love that can do some freaky alien sex.

      • Smoogs
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        You’d need a lot more wishes

        • Flying Squid
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          Nah. You have superman powers. You’re a god on most planets.

          • Smoogs
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            Doesn’t sound humble enough for true love to exist in the same plane of existence. I mean if having a god complex worked then no doctor, cop or lawyer could possibly single, have a perfect relationship and absolutely satisfied with their life.

            • Flying Squid
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              Eh. I can live with it if I’m Interplanetary Superman.

              • Smoogs
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                You started this argument with how you can have true love and now you don’t so you can embrace your god complex . The amount of goalpost movement in this discussion alone says you’re probably incapable anyways so it’s probably wise to avoid such a relationship until you are willing to work on yourself.

                • Flying Squid
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                  Dude. It’s a comic. About a wishing well. And I’ve been happily married for 23 years.

    • platypus_plumba
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      Am I the only one concerned there’s a wishing fountain that anyone can use? Even Republicans.

      jk

      • phoenixz
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        I wish everyone else but me would be miserable!

        Huh, it’s what they’re wishing for every day anyway nothing would change

    • whoisearth
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      As someone who once had true love True love is the wish 100% of the time.

      • Retrograde
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        Something Elon and Besoz will never have (because they are sociopaths) (and wankers)

    • GestridEnglish
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      super dude can’t do anything super or else society will now expect him to be Superman

      Reminds me of a scene in My Adventures With Superman where Clark literally cannot go to sleep because he can’t stop hearing people needing help (thanks to his super-hearing). He stays awake the whole night helping people.

    • oce 🐆
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      Is true love necessarily until death?

    • Smoogs
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      If he has a a personality disorder that could be a cause of the inability to form or maintain relationships, wishing for true love might not last either.

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    I love this comic, seen it first I think a decade ago.

    Of course it’s already funny on the surface, but it also makes you stop and think about what you would choose.

    • FuglyDuckEnglish
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      Is it really true love, if a wish compelled it?

      Millennium Falcon. Just saying.

      Actually, I think I’d rather a Ton Falk, complete with a collection of fighters/bombers to go with it.

      • JeffKerman1999
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        Yep, that’s the thing. The girl was walking around and got commandeered into loving this guy. So much for the illusion of free will.

        I would also have asked for a starship: reverse engineer that and you’ve single handedly saved the human race from the climate disaster.

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          She wished for true love too, Wich is why he is there at all.

          • DacoTaco
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            But if that is true, then he had no free will. He was there because of her wish!

            • Ookami38
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              We’re getting into the nature of free will, whether or not it exists at all. One of the hardest questions we’ve never really been able to answer, and quite possibly never will.

              What if the well is merely looking into the infinite possibilities and determining who the true love is based on what will happen anyway? What if she also made a wish at another well at the same time, also for true love? What if she didn’t exist at all, prior to his wish, and was created as his true love?

          • JeffKerman1999
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            And then she falls instantly without knowing anything about the dude? Very reasonable

        • sorrybookbrokeEnglish
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          Imma wish for a book describing how to build that spaceship in terms we can comprehend to spite your wish and beat you to the punch.

          Or, you know, I could wish for a solution to climate change but you know, space techno dystopia sounds pretty metal

          • FuglyDuckEnglish
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            Okay skip that. I’m going to wish for an automated droid processing plant/factory with design files of every known class of ship- and the defiant, just to fuck with people.

            I believe they’re called world devastators?

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              Yeah, space is over-rated. Imma wish for no more wishes, for anybody. Fuck that well

              • FuglyDuckEnglish
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                I’m sooo I’m in line ahead of you.

          • JeffKerman1999
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            That spaceship will have a compact powerplant with enormous amounts of energy in a very small place. That solves the climate change crisis

        • rbits
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          Nah, it’s magic, it can just make it so that the girl happened to be in the right place. Maybe it told the girl that she would find true love there and she decided to go.

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        What would you need all those military vehicles for, though? Who exactly are you fighting?

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          Hmm. I think the first thing I’ll do, is give a few to Ukraine. You know. Just to demonstrate their total superiority. Maybe install kill switches so they have to come back for maintenance periodically. Like John Deere or something.

          Then get all the “good” guys addicted to them so all the “bad” guys get fucked Then hit the kill switches and demand everyone stops being fucking mean.

          Maybe give them a few of the crappy battle droids from the prequels, so they’re autonomous and can’t necessarily be hacked.

      • Dr. CoomerEnglish
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        Maybe it just brought them together giving them both true love.

      • JackbyDevEnglish
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        Arguing about the trueness of love is just getting too into semantics and willfully creating a non true scottsman debate.

      • eek2121
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        I’ll take a Death Star and a shuttle to get to it. You won’t believe what happens next!

        🌎💥

        • FuglyDuckEnglish
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          That kid with the xwing blows it up?

        • Corhen
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          Come on, if you are going there, wish for a Battle Planetoid like Dahak, often described “what the death star wants to be when it grows up”.

          Armorments include multiple km thick armor, mass missiles capable of destabilizing stars and a park the size of Manhattan island for its captain.

          Highlights from the books include being pelted by enough multi-gigaton missiles to make its deflectors look like the cornea of a star

    • Kecessa
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      If you wish for anything other than the end of deadly conflicts between humans or something similar then you need to think about your priorities real hard

      • I Cast FistEnglish
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        Nah, you just need a number of friends so everyone can cover each other’s bases while a couple make the altruistic world changing wishes.

        • Kecessa
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          And then everyone thinks the same thing and in the end everyone has a starship and no one has peace.

  • I Cast Fist
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    Millenium Falcon? That old bucket of bolts that needs constant maintenance even while flying? Hard pass. Now, a shiny new Corellian YT2000, on the other hand

    • Flying Squid
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      That bucket of bolts is the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs. I don’t need this. Let’s go, Chewie.

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    The hydrologist in me always asks: why dig a well at the top of the hill? Surely that is more effort than digging it at the bottom of the hill where the water table is closer to the surface.

    But I guess wells like this predate modern hydrology. And outhouses and such could be polluting the water as it flows down gradient. So the water at the top of the hill was likely cleaner and safer to drink

    I’d wish for clean drinking water in every well. ;)

    • ADTJ
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      Conjecture: if you assume people also live on the hill, it would be easier to carry pails back down than to carry them up from the bottom of the hill.

      • Troy
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        Only in a 2D world with the directions being limited to “up” and “down”. Carrying it laterally around the circumference of the hill would be equally probable.

    • Flying Squid
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      Aren’t ancient wells often based on where springs were? Springs are often at the top of hills, aren’t they?

      • Troy
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        This is a misapprehension. Springs are on hillsides, not hilltops. Basically, imagine there are two surfaces: the ground, and the water table. In some places, usually on hillsides, the water table will intersect the surface. Where that happens, a spring will exist.

        But that water has to be under pressure for this to happen – this is known as the hydrological gradient. Water flows down hill on the surface, and down gradient under ground. In order for there to be pressure on the water, enough to force it out a hillside, the water table somewhere in the hill needs to be physically higher in altitude than the spring.

        In other words, it rains on top of the hill, and the rain soaks into the ground. That water wants to flow downhill, so it flows out of the ground on the sides of the hills. But this means a spring will never flow from the top of a hill.

    • Seasoned_Greetings
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      A true man of the people! With the right connections, you’d do quite well in 14th century Europe!

    • bradorsomething
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      Wishes flow best in vuggy volcanic strata, so well location is based on luck hitting a vug or interconnected seam. Any wishes in sandstone were used up millennia ago for plants to eat or, apparently in one case, death by meteor.

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    Now the idea of a millenial falcon popped into my head.

    I guess it’s a very fast bird that’s approaching middle age but the bird equivalent of boomers are convinced it’s still an unruly adolescent? 🤷

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      Does it use up some kind of exotic fuel to run, though?

      How long until you are stranded somewhere in outer space with absolutely no-one that could even possibly help you?

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        How long until you are stranded somewhere in outer space with absolutely no-one that could even possibly help you?

        12 parsecs

    • Flying Squid
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      The millennial falcon preys solely on avocado toast.

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    I’ll take a comfy magical isekai, please. Maybe to the setting of Knight’s & Magic so I can pilot a cool magic robot.

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      Comfy and wartime don’t really mix

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      Does it come with a fresh, newer body (or the ability to renew the current one, maybe through “cultivation”)? This one I’ve got it is kinda worn out.

      Also, anyone who gets in please send me an invite

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        Truck-kun will be with you shortly to deliver the invite.

  • capital
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    I’m definitely wishing for Superman powers. Easiest decision of my life.

      • tweeks
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        I’m not sure if that will joyfully co-exist with happiness.

        • KevonLooney
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          Yeah, enjoy every movie, TV show, joke, and surprise being ruined forever. Better to have wisdom than knowledge.

          Also, wisdom will probably make you realize you should have just wished to be lucky.

        • pearsaltchocolatebar
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          It would, because you’d be able to choose what information you knew. I’d go straight to solving cold fusion.

          • ZoopZeZoop
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            Would that include forgetting information you already knew and didn’t want to know anymore?

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              It would need to. Because sometimes you would find out the truth of something and that truth would be very, very ugly. Like finding out that Mr. Rogers behind the scenes was actually a huge racist (he wasn’t).

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️English
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    Just have your GF make a wish for a pair of x-wings. Or that you both have super powers. Or whatever. She would be a new customer and this able to make 1 wish.

    Edit: Wait Did she just poof into existence or was she already in line? I’ve seen this comic so many times and only now am I noticing the girl is in the first panel.

    • intensely_human
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      She was poofed into existence one hour in the past, and started walking toward the well. At first it was just a zombie shuffle, mindless and jagged. But slowly and surely, she remembered her made-up past, forgot that she had materialized from thin air.

      • Flying Squid
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        Wait, does this mean the well knows what you will wish for before you wish for it? We’re getting into some weird areas here

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          Perhaps everything we do is the preamble to some future dingbat’s wish. Maybe all of history is unavoidably conspiring to lead to a truck of cash toppling over in front of him, after which point we’ll all blink and look around, dazed, unsure what to do.

      • oce 🐆
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        But 2 days later the necromancer fell short of energy and she decomposed on the sheets.

    • Smoogs
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      If we’re reading that particular top to bottom he does say “true love” and she could then be walking up.

  • Dizzy Devil DuckyEnglish
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    A bit of a weird wish, but I’d definitely wish that whenever I want I could be looking at a living person (either through TV or a photo), see their age, and be able to adjust it at will. I would finally be able to turn the US legislators into the babies they are.

    • lseif
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      interesting superpower. i wonder if this has been done before?

      • Dizzy Devil DuckyEnglish
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        I don’t know if it has been explored in great depths in general media, but I know just about every single cartoon I’ve ever seen has done at least one episode involving age regression. I also know that season 3 episode 9 (Secret Agent Bear) of Yogi’s Treasure Hunt they had Dick Dastardly was trying to hold world leaders ransom with fountain of youth water and that’s the closest I can think of to this super power that I’ve seen in popular media.

    • AsheHole
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      And my first thought to that idea was “ah yes, preserve Danny DeVito for years to come.

  • wildcardology
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    An iron man suit, which one is the best? I don’t like the nanobots ones.