• Dr. CoomerEnglish
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      Because. Also, flamethrower aren’t considered weapons by the government, so the only states that limits you from buying one is California and Ohio and Maryland banned them.

        • Dr. CoomerEnglish
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          Not a ban, a restriction. Like California, you need a permit. Sorry if I made that confusing.

          • afraid_of_zombiesEnglish
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            Ok new life goal. Be that guy at the DMV with a permit for a flamethrower arguing with the civil servant that “because it is cool” is a valid reason

            • talEnglish
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              In most if not all states, if you have an AAA membership, you can do your DMV stuff at AAA offices and dodge the DMV entirely. The lines are way better.

              • sugar_in_your_teaEnglish
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                In my area, the DMV is actually quite pleasant. I’ve had to go like 2-3x ever? And each time was a 15 min adventure:

                • registered my car from out of state
                • bought a car from a local private seller - I brought them with me to finalize the transfer
                • bought a car from an out of state private seller (my brother), just brought the signed title

                Or emissions checks can be submitted at the check station for $8 or filed online for free, so there’s no reason for most people to go to the DMV. In fact, most other stuff can be done online too.

                It honestly takes longer for me to get there (like 15 min drive) than to actually get my business sorted. It’s one of the better run agencies in the state.

                That said, the DOL division sucks. We don’t even require in person renewals, but the two times I had to go sucked (when I first moved here, and for my wife to get her license transferred). It’s a much smaller office with far more people waiting.

                • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️English
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                  I have a DMV that’s never busy around me too, at the cost of being further out of my way (even more so now that I’ve moved even farther from it). But it’s worth being able to walk in and go right to a counter (without an appointment even!) instead of waiting 8+ fucking hours starting at 5am like the one in my actual city.

      • talEnglish
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        flamethrower aren’t considered weapons by the government

        Considered firearms.

        • Dr. CoomerEnglish
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          No they’re not. The ATF does not consider flamethrower a firearm and there exists no country wide law about flamethrower, and by law, even a felon can own a fully working flamethrower.

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            Right. I’m saying that you wanted to use the term “firearm”, not “weapon”.

      • AngryCommieKenderEnglish
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        California allows roofers to have flamethrowers. They use them for curing something in the roofing tiles(? I don’t know the proper term for those things. They’re basically cardboard covered in tar and gravel, possibly a thin layer of asphalt?).

        It was a bit unnerving the first few times I heard the roofers doing their thing.

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          They’re called shingles, asphalt shingles being the most common in most parts of the US because they’re relatively inexpensive.

      • captainlezbianEnglish
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        Ok how the hell did Ohio limit flamethrowers? We’re the Florida of the north

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          Apparently the company is even based here in Cleveland

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            Didn’t expect Cleveland felt more dayton with the whole lunatic idea with military applications thing

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        No, the question is why not?

        • talEnglish
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          The next question is whether they can stick a couple chemical tanks with variable-flow valves on that thing to inject into the stream so that they can get RGB flames.

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          They have an app for that now. It’s like Uber but somehow even treats their “contractors” in a worse fashion. It’s called Flameaway.

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          Where’s the robot to clean up the flaming, decapitated gopher carcasses off my lawn?

          Not needed, because they get flamed while they’re in their burrows underground. So all you have to do is plug up the holes after the bot comes out and you’re done.

          Anti Commercial-AI license (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)

    • sugar_in_your_teaEnglish
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      Screw those states, flamethrowers are awesome and I want to see more of them.

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    Well now I’m definitely going to have to save up $10,000 for a flame-throwing robot dog.

    How else am I going to protect myself from all the flame-throwing robot dogs?

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      The only defense against a bad guy with a flame throwing robot dog, is a good guy with a flame throwing robot dog

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        What about a neutral girl with a flame throwing robot dog?

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          Believe it or not, a chaotic neutral or lawful good girl with a flame throwing robot dog. There are some nuances if you’re using Pathfinder.

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            I’ll take all the nuance if it means more flamethrower robot dog gladiator battles.

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          I’ll take those odds!

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      How else am I going to protect myself from all the flame-throwing robot dogs?

      Build a tesla coil for $100.

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        What if their flame thrower range is longer than the range of my Tesla coil?

        Also, how will I get my revenge?

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          Also, how will I get my revenge?

          With a fire-extinguisher robot dog?

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            I can’t kill my neighbor who sent the flamethrower robot dog to my house with a fire extinguisher robot dog! Not without plausible deniability anyway.

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              A 5 minute thing blown up to a 50 minutes action sequence with cars drawing circles in the desert and a helicopter filming infrared and tüdelü, all in 10x repeat, is a sad new high for me.

              But of course someone tested that already.

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                WellThat’s TV shows for you.
                But even better: Between each repeat would be an ad break. :)
                At least we don’t have that (premium and/or ad blocker) on youtube

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                  Didn’t notice the ads. Newpipe with sponsorblock i guess?

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          What if their flame thrower range is longer than the range of my Tesla coil?

          Put your Tesla coil on a long boom. Worked for pikemen.

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          The nice part of that is that the fire conducts along the electricity

          Edit: this was like two weeks ago but it was the other way around I am dumb

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          Make use of the only good usefully informative scene in Small Soldiers, and use a power transformer to create a city block radius EMP

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    What possible use case is there for this that isn’t a felony of some description?

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      Gonna assume controlled burns in difficult terrain.

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        Also the reason that flamethrowers aren’t illegal in most states, since being able to project flame makes controlled burns a lot easier.

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          I thought they use those fire paintball marker things

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      Deer hunting. Don’t think, just buy one and do it. It’s the American way.

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        get a nice char on them fuckers while they twitchin

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          Don’t even bother shooting them, just use the flamethrower for everything. There may be collateral damage but it’s worth it.

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        I say that, but I, in no way, want that to happen.

        But yeah, Boston Dynamic have long said that they don’t want their robots weaponised, but here we are seeing it happen.

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          Boston Dynamics has made multiple robots for DARPA. If they make a really great platform, I expect they’re probably gonna be weaponized at some point. Maybe not by them, but

          I remember a buddy of mine who was working on an autonomous, self-mapping rover research project at his university on a DARPA project. He was just working on the navigation side, part of a larger project. He was telling me how he had a “huh” moment when they got the first control unit and it had a big red button on it labelled “weapon”.

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          Boston Dynamic didn’t let this happen. Their EULA explicitly prevents people from doing this so they used this robot from Unitree instead

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      Employees trying to unionize.

      At least it seems like that sort of thing never ends up being a felony

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      How else am I gonna light the fireplace without getting up from the couch?

      • Zorque
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        I don’t know if I’d ever be bored if I had a Wee Knight to ride.

    • afraid_of_zombiesEnglish
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      Rapid heating of slabs of meat for some weird meat effect rich people pay for

      • talEnglish
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        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butane_torch

        Culinary

        Butane torches are frequently employed as kitchen gadgets to caramelize sugar in cooking, such as when making crème brûlée. They may be marketed as kitchen torches, cooking torches, or culinary torches. Use of the butane torch in the kitchen is not limited to caramelizing sugar; it can be used to melt or brown toppings on casseroles or soups, to melt cheese, and to roast or char vegetables such as peppers.

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        They are not actually that expensive. You just feel posh when you use one.

        My girlfriend came with one, it’s great for grilled cheese. But I’m not allowed to use it anymore because I set fire to a chocolate bar.

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          But I’m not allowed to use it anymore because I set fire to a chocolate bar.

          Huh. TIL.

          https://kitchenroar.com/flammable/chocolate/

          Chocolate, or more so cocoa, is highly flammable. If it catches fire, the blaze is difficult to extinguish since cocoa powder contains 10 to 20 per cent fat and has a huge surface area. Yes, chocolate is flammable. Most solid foods possess at least some level of flammability because they are organic, and chocolate is no exception.

          See, I don’t see how one would have known that without having actually experimented and set a chocolate bar on fire, though.

    • cabron_offsetsEnglish
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      Fuck up the rabbits that eat my flowers and leave a monolayer of rabbit shit on my property?

      • Flying SquidEnglish
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        Have you considered a regular dog that doesn’t shoot flames? Our non-flamethrowing dog does a very good job taking care of the rabbits she can’t chase away.

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          Probably leaves a monolayer of dog shit, though. Now, a flamethrower robo-dog, there’s the dog of the future.

          • Flying SquidEnglish
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            You can pick up dog shit. You can’t unburn your lawn.

      • LeroyJenkinsEnglish
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        throw flames at your enemies from your roof

    • Echo DotEnglish
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      I hate having to carry around a .5g firelight, this will save me the immense difficulty.

  • MastengweEnglish
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    “Flame-throwing robot dogs don’t kill people, people kill people”

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      Dear ladies and gentleman of the jury. I will now argue that the LLM that programmed the fire breathing dog, did so in such a manner as to make it sentient. The dog was able to and did act of it’s own accord when it killed the woman, Ms Smith. The defendant here did not create sentience in the dog, nor could he have known turning the dog on, outside, may result in the fire breathing dog torch a bystander to death.

      You can see here, the dogs walking and urination patterns closely align with a real, organic dog. This definitively proves that the dog killed the woman, and now the defendant, who only released the dog into nature. Thank you very much.

      • 【J】【u】【s】【t】【Z】English
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        That’s a legit point under common law. The owner or keeper of a wild animal is generally strictly liable for damage caused by the animal, except if the animal is local fauna, in which case liability terminates on the animal’s escape back into the wild. I don’t know of any place with native flame throwing robots.

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          Theoretically if Amazon drones become wide spread in the environment and I capture one, attach a flamethrower to it, and the above scenario happens after I release it back into the wild, would that defense then apply as Amazon drones are native to the environment?

          • 【J】【u】【s】【t】【Z】English
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            That would probably fall under intentional torts rather than strict animal liability. If you do, put up some vague “is this your drone? flyers with a blurry photo, wait a bit, take the drone to the vet and pay the bill in your name, and build the evidence of your keepership, because you’ll have to admit being a keeper for the defense to work. Also, owners or keepers are liable, and this is one of those rare times in law when or also means and, and Amazon will probably help you defend the case in chief, though they will probably come after you next. This does not constitute legal advice.

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          What if enough flame throwing robot dogs escape into the local environment for them to become an endemic invasive species? Then could we be able to terminate any liability associated with the barbequing of the general public?

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    “The Mechanical Hound slept but did not sleep, lived but did not live in its gently humming, gently vibrating, softly illuminated kennel back in a dark corner of the firehouse”

    Here we go

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    I hate this but it’s hilarious. It’s a microcosm of everything that’s making me depressed right now, and somehow that’s precisely why it’s amazing.

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      According to the FAQ on the flamethrower, while the unit is apparently pretty flexible in fuel that it can handle, the recommended fuel is mostly diesel. I’d imagine that one could use biodiesel and do climate-friendly heating.

    • MurdocEnglish
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      And you could roast marshmallows in bed!

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    This is a great day! I think we can ALL agree that it’s been deeply frustrating to be priced out of the flame throwing robot dog market for so long.

    • Chozo
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      This is an absolute W for flamethrowing robot dog enthusiasts everywhere.

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      You were paying the market rate for your flamethrowing robot dog? Dude, buy refurbished.

    • talEnglish
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      I’m waiting for more competition to enter the market and for prices to be driven down further.

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        Owning is boring. You want to rent one through my new app. FRaaS. Flamethrower robot as a service. I am starting the first round of venturing funding at 1 billion. It also has block chain in it.

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          It also has block chain in it.

          The key is to use 100x more electricity than is actually needed.

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          You’re joking, but some tech bro is gonna try to do exactly that

  • WhiskyTangoFoxtrotEnglish
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    So how much for a shark with a frickin’ laser beam attached to its head?

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      I’d settle for some ill-tempered sea bass.

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    Imagine telling your insurance about your newest purchase.

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      They’ll probably ask for a referral, it’s legal in 48 states.

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        Ok so I’m guessing CA and NY are the two that have outlawed flamethrowers for non roofers and non combatants?

        I know damn well the roofers in CA have flame throwers, they’re small-ish, and can only shoot a 7-8’ flame, but they definitely have them.

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          Only 8! What monsters are they fighting on those rooftops?

          8" sounds more like a large torch than a flamethrower to me, IDK how they classify things tho.

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    Israeli Military have entered the chat.

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    Great. Which country has your bet for the first country to sic these on their enemies?

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    Fire-extinguisher robot dogs in 3, 2,

    • MashedTechEnglish
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      Yeah, no. Saving people sounds like a waste of money. How can we monetize saving them? Their deaths are way more lucrative.

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      They already have Spot dogs that can do fire supression. But they need the mechanical arm that the newer revisions introduced.

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      That was the excuse dog to make this dog possible. Please pay attention when safety robots are announced.