• Today
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    Dipshit. It’s my favorite insult. If you call a man an asshole or fucker, many take it as a sign of strength or say, 'i just tell it like it is." Dipshit is stupid and juvenile and naive and just perfectly describes so many people.

    • NevelioKrejall
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      Oh, that’s why I like “dipshit” so much. Now I understand myself better, thanks!

  • AnEilifintChorcra
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    He’d peel an orange in his pocket

    He has two brains cells and they’re both fighting for third place

    He’s a face like he’s trying to eat an apple through a tennis racket

    The tide wouldn’t take her out

    Scarlet for your mam for having you

    Your arse is jealous of your mouth

    Snipers dream

    Spanner

    • 200ok
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      I am a native English speaker and had to Google “peel an orange in his pocket”. It does not mean what I assumed.

      • S_H_K
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        Non native speaker here and is the only of the 2 I didn’t get. Spanner is the other one.

        • VaultBoyNewVegas
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          Spanner is British/Irish means idiot or tool. See also muppet.

      • SouthEndSunset
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        What did you think it meant?

        I did have to think about it like, context helped.

        • Syn_Attck
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          You understood it? Are you Irish? I’m Murkin and I thought it meant running one out from his pocket or something.

          Peel a banana in his pocket: Tight-fisted, cheap. Often the phrase is “peel an orange in his pocket. The idea is that someone is so cheap, he will peel a piece of fruit inside his pocket so no one will see it and ask for a bite. - Don’t Be a Muggins: Learn Some Irish Slang

          • SouthEndSunset
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            It helped that numerous “he’s tight fisted” type comments and insults had been made in the same conversation, before that was said.

            No, not Irish.

          • 200ok
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            That’s what I thought, too*

            running *rubbing

  • xmunk
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    Your father smells of elderberries.

    • DeconceptualistEnglish
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      “Your mother was a hamster! is pretty self-explanatory though.

      But elderberries smell rather nice. Or at least the last elderberry jam I had was quite lovely. So that certainly makes for a confusing insult.

      • Maestro
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        They made booze from elderberries. The insult translates to “Your mother is a whore and your father is a drunk”

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          Good booze, in fact I’ve had an elderberry wine and it was awesome

        • DeconceptualistEnglish
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          Ohhhh TIL!

          I’ve had elderflower liquor (St. Germain is very nice) but not elderberry.

    • S_H_K
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      Non native here: I even saw the movie.

  • DirigibleProtein
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    In Australia, 40¢ short of a shout” is unlikely to be understood by visitors.

    • slazer2auEnglish
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      Even as an Aussie I haven’t heard that one.

    • S_H_K
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      Non native didn’t get it Sounds like a reference of a specific event.

        • xiaEnglish
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          Somehow this doesn’t help :)

    • Hugh_Jeggs
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      In Scotland it’s “A couple of pieces short of a picnic”, a piece being a sandwich

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        Like his brain is not complete or something didn’t get it not sure.

        • JackFrostNColaEnglish
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          “He’s not all there” is the most basic version of this saying.

          “He’s got a few tools missing from the shed” is an aussie version too.

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            Not the brightest fork in the tool shed, are they?

        • Hugh_Jeggs
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          It means they went for a picnic and lo and behold, a smarter-than-average bear stole their pic-a-nic basket

  • MFC904
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    “Bless (his/her/their/your) heart”

    • shottymcb
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      That’s not an insult as the internet has decided. It can be used sarcastically, but in my experience as a southerner it is more often a compliment for doing something nice.

      • GrayBackgroundMusicEnglish
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        You had a different childhood than mine. It was code for “they’re a moron”.

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          Context is king. Yes, anything can be said sarcastically. But when a child shares their candy with another child and 7 people are like “Aww bless his heart!! It’s not fucking code. The fact that it’s usually used as a compliment is exactly what makes it so cutting as a sarcastic insult.

      • Birdie
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        South Louisiana here. It can be used affectionately (seeing a sick child and saying Bless your heart) but I find it is more often used to point out someone’s lack of intelligence or bad behaviour (Karen is pitching an absolute fit in the checkout lane at Albertsons because she misread a price labelBless her heart)

        Maybe you’re from a more polite area of the south, but where I am we are heavily into calling out morons.

      • Confused_Emus
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        It’s used both ways, it’s just context dependent.

      • cod
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        Same here. “Bless your heart” usually means thank you

        • Daft_ishOP
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          That’s why it’s so insidious. When used correctly you can throw people off because they have to question, “is this person grateful or do they hate my guts?

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            When done correctly, this is always the outcome.

    • CanadaPlus
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      Wow, I’m a native speaker and this confuses me.

  • DeconceptualistEnglish
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    There are some southern or appalachian insults that I’m sure would confuse foreigners, even those who are functional in English.

    Comparisons like “He’s twelve ounces short of a pint”, backhanded compliments like “I just love how you don’t care what people think”, idioms like “three sheets to the wind”. And then of course there’s “rode hard and put up wet”.

    • plumcreekEnglish
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      There’s also “bless your heart”. Around here if someone tells you that, it is not a compliment.

      • Amerikan Pharaoh
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        And each modifier between “your” and “heart” increases the factor of how insulting they’re trying to be by at least 2

    • S_H_K
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      Non native here: “three sheets to the wind” “rode hard and put up wet” are totally unknown and over my head.
      “He’s twelve ounces short of a pint” and “I just love how you don’t care what people think” I got them.

      • nocturne
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        Rode hard and put up wet is a reference to horses. Riding a horse hard and then not taking care of them after the ride can cause them issue, physically and mentally. It is usually used to say someone is tired or generally not well. Others, my mother included, use it to mean she thinks a woman has had too much wild sex, usually with too many partners.

        Three sheets to the wind, means to be drunk. It is from nautical terms meaning the sails are not fastened.

        • verity_kindle
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          On a ship, a sheet is a line made of rope, used to manipulate the angle of a sail, not a sail itself.

          • uid0gid0
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            Correct, the sheets are trailing in the wind, meaning the sail is not tied down and it’s flapping all over.

  • ddhEnglish
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    He’s got a couple of roos loose in the top paddock

    • DeltaTangoLimaEnglish
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      May your chickens turn to emus and kick your dunny door down

      • S_H_K
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        Non native here: didn’t heard that one before but I guess is wishing the person misfortune?

          • Minarble
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            *Chooks.you make it to easy if you call them chickens.

    • S_H_K
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      Non native here: it’s a variation of “he got some screws loose” we even use it a version of it in spanish.

  • xiaEnglish
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    “You make a better door than a window.

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    “He don’t know shit from shinola. [I’ve never asked what “shinola” is.] EDIT: Another one my Dad uses (Oklahoma born and bred): calling someone a “mudcat”.

  • threeduck
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    Calling someone a Muppet. In NZ (and to a lesser degree, UK/Australia), it’s a common thing to call someone who’s being an idiot. Not sure why. I think as a nation we generally like the Muppets, but not someone who’s being a Muppet.

    • A Phlaming Phoenix
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      I think the connotation is that a Muppet is controlled by someone else. Their every thought, word, and action is the intent of their handlers.

      • Lmaydev
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        I think it’s more that most Muppets are silly and not very intelligent

        • jacksilver
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          Yeah, I’ve definitely seen it most used to describe people acting ridiculous.

      • blackstrat
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        That’s a puppet. A muppet is someone being stupid

    • S_H_K
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      Non native here: never heard it, is implying an unpleasant feeling?

      • Thassodar
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        Usually it’s referring to being a downer at an event that’s typically exciting. Like being at a party but complaining the whole time about their beer/music selection.

      • CanadaPlus
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        I have no idea how it started being used that way, but it’s true, there’s nothing fun about a wet blanket.

          • CanadaPlus
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            I suppose so, although a proper fire blanket would be even better.

  • verity_kindle
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    “Crayon eater”, this one is specific to members of the U.S. Marine Corps, it can be used affectionately, but it’s very context dependent.